I think I think too much
by Rozafunk
Summary: after the death of Hikaru and Kaoru's parents , a friend of the family stole all their wealth and left them alone with nothing thus life becomes so cruel to them. Hikaru breaks down and everything to him means nothing anymore. Kaoru gets sick and needs to be cared of. at some point they being kicked out to the street just to face more cruelty of life. WARNING: BOYXBOY , REVENGE
1. Chapter 1

**Yay a new story ~ I have an awesome line of events for this story ! please read it and tell me what do you think**

**here's the first chapter. **

**oh you might find it so depressed but don't worry things will get better**

* * *

**I think I think too much**

**Hikaru POV**

I am a sad , miserable and depressed person .

" I believe that before 3000 years I had a cruel talk with the great God Zues , and he is torturing me since then " I said to the man standing behind the bar while having my beer

" where you alive 3000 years before?" he questioned me while laughing

"we all were " I put 3 dollars to him on the table and went out .

I've put my hat on and my hands in my pockets . the sky was drizzling on me as well as the streets were enforcing me into them. I no more can recognize the beauty of this world. Everything was so depressing and I had no single reason to smile , basically on this earth nothing deserves to live . when people smile and laugh it's because they are shallow and silly, all that makes them happy is material . all that makes them sad is losing it . I might be young to get this view about life but yeah it happened. Darkness is all I had in my 21 years and nothing more .

after the death of my parents , 5 years ago . a friend to the family has stolen all my parents money . and since then, I and my twin brother live miserably in a small apartment . which I fail to pay its rent most of the time that in the end I started stealing money from people pockets . Decent into nothingness was all I mastered.

It was late and I was walking home .

Our apartment stands in a dismal street , a very old and dread building that visitors would think it's hunted by ghosts .

beside the apartment there was a small bakery that I used to visit all the time .

"welcome Hikaru . it's too late I thought you wouldn't come today" the old man named Jiff , the owner of the bakery was too nice to me that I was always doubting he wants something with me .

" yeah I was hanging out. So is there anything left for me today?" the man gives me bread almost everyday

" yes I kept them here for you" he gave me the bread and a small box " what's in that ?" I questioned him " my wife kept those herbs for Kaoru . she says if he drinks it at morning he'll get better " . " oh it's so nice of her . Thank her a lot for me " I took the stuff and left " good night Jiff"

walked to the apartment ,I opened the door and went in " I am home " I said but probably I wouldn't get any good answer

" where the fuck were you ! I am starving here !" Kaoru screamed from his place on the sofa

" no need to scream okay ! I got you food " I said

" I was about to die here !" he walked to me and took the bread and started eating it with his soup.

about my twin , he's so not-thankful to me and he's so temperamental all the time . " you are lame " I said to him

"did you even left any soup for me?" I asked him

"no. I was too hungry and ate it all by myself".

"WHAT! I go out all day trying to fucking collect money for that bustard so he doesn't kick us out and all you do is sleeping here and so selfishly eating all the food we have ! " I got seriously mad at him and left to the room .

laid myself down on our old bed and covered myself "I am sick of this life …I am sick of it" whispered to myself. But he's sick . he can't go out and work .. he would collapse and they would kick him out .. I should understand this..i should keep fine with it …" whispered to myself

"I was lying .." he said from beside the door . I didn't even notice he was standing there " I ..left you some .. if you want.." he murmured

" I don't want it , just leave me alone" I said calmly but seems he didn't want to leave .

he climbed the bed with me . without look at my eyes . he raised my arm and covered his face on my chest then wrap his arms around me

" I was left alone all day" he murmured as well

" I know " I coldly answered

"I am scared Hikaru"

"don't be" I coldly answered again

"what if I died anytime soon?" he asked .

what if he dies ..i don't know what to do then , I am only staying alive for him . if he dies I don't know what to do . maybe I'd start thinking about myself a little . maybe I'd have a girlfriend . maybe I'd start keeping money and move out of this place

" if you die.. I am going to be fine" I whispered but I was sure he heard me because he simply separated from me and left the room. Regret? No I don't feel anything . he's a burden to me and we both know this , long time ago I used to love him . we used to make love and we used to be lovers. But lately . since our life turned to hell, I no more feel anything towards him or towards life. I am bored , I just don't care about anything and all I want is to leave ..

I knew I hurt kaoru by saying so .. and I know he might hurt himself thinking that I might be happy but really .. I know even if he dies .. nothing will change to the best. Everything will stay the same . the only thing that would change is that I'll be all alone without anybody to share me bed . I brought all my power and left the bed .

"what are you doing?" I asked him .

he was holding a blade and wanted to cut himself. I know he's weaker than doing such thing . he scares of death more than anyone else . and he was too selfish to let his life go for my own sake.

" I will kill myself"

"no you won't.." I just stood there looking at him on the ground .

he was such a mess . his hair was long to his shoulders . his face was pale and there were black bags under his golden eyes ..that were wet now. I leant down beside him and took the blade away

" I use this to shave ..and I don't have another. If you dirt it with your blood I won't use it again" I was mean and I know it .

long time ago I used to be a loving person full of care towards him. But you know every mountain falls.

I looked empty at the wall upon us "you said you left some soup to me right?" I looked at him . he was crying. Hiding his face with his hands and simply crying .

"do you think that things would be fixed if you cried your eyes out like this? Nothing will change kaoru..nothing".

"Hikaru..I still love you " that didn't shock me cause I know he didn't change much like me because I lost all the love for him . I am miserable and I hate everything right now .

" go sleep" I told him , he came closer to me and left a kiss on my cheek and left me alone on the cold floor.

Why am I 10 feet under and upside down? Burly surviving has become my purpose , cause I am so used to living underneath the surface.

I stood up and opened the box that Jiff gave me . I boiled some water and put the herbs on it then put it in kaoru's mug and took it to him

"kao.. I made you something " he looked at me from under the covers " is that a poison ?" he asked .

I looked so empty at him for some seconds ,I am wondering why the pain never deserted me , the sadness , the sorrow , be wilderness that never left. I drank a little "it's only a herb". I handed him the hot mug

"thank you"

kaoru thanked me ! I got surprised .. it actually felt a little good when he thanked me

"you're welcome"

"I want..I want to take you out tomorrow " I can't believe what I just said . why did I want to take him out ! . did I miss him beside me . I sat beside him on the bed " I'd love to" he said while looking down to his mug . trying again? I am nothing like what I like to be and my chances are as few. If I could be someone else instead of me I'd give him all I got. If I could be another guy instead of me I'd never let him down. I am in the road , don't know where it goes or where it leads . I am just here not even moving . I want him to go away yet I want him to stay with me .. I don't know what do I want anymore. I want to be a little less sad

* * *

**please leave reviews ! **

**thanks for reading . chapter 2 is coming**


	2. Chapter 2

**Kaoru POV**

Hikaru let me wear 2 layers and a jacket

"I feel like a bear " I said

"just shut up and keep them on . I won't be able to pay for a doctor if you get worst.. here , put this too"

he handed me a scarf and then put his hat on my head"but you don't go out without this hat" I wondered.

"how many times should I repeat myself to you! Don't want you to get worst " he said and I smiled " what?" he asked .

"nothing..i just love it when you show some care " .

"huh please.. let's go anyways" we went out of our apartment to the cold streets . I breathed

"oh god I miss the outer world" I looked at Hikaru who was staring blankly

" it's not a good place, if it was me I'd just keep you inside the house and lock the door so you won't go out" Hikaru said.

Sometimes I wonder if he'd love anything anymore or even trust anyone .

"I'll be fine"

I took his hand on mine which made him feel weird but he didn't take his hand away as usual. Instead he holds mine so tightly like the old days which made me feel so powerful and happy beside him. We walked hand by hand till we got to the down town . the place was crowded enough . markets from both sides that sell different stuff .

we stood beside a place where they sell weird necklaces

" this one has a nose drawing on it HAHAHAH!" I laughed then looked at Hikaru

" it looks so silly " he coldly said .

" oh my my what a cute pair of twins" the old lady that sells the necklaces said

" I am Kaoru and this is Hikaru, nice to meet you"

" I have a perfect necklace for both of you" the old lady said as she handed me a necklace with an orange small stone hanging on it

"it's pretty" I said

" and this one for you" she handed Hikaru the same necklace but with a blue stone

"thank you but we can't pay for this" Hikaru put it back to the table

"they are only for 1 dollar and they bring you happiness" she said

" nothing in the world can bring me happiness" Hikaru said while giving her a death look

"uhh..hikaru I want it . please?" I said while the lady smiled for me

"I don't believe on such things but will get it for you anyways" he said as he put 1$ for her

we took the necklaces and left . I put it around Hikaru's neck as he put mine around my neck

"thank you" I said smiling to him ...Hikaru smiled for me, did the spell worked this fast and made him happy!

"let's check the markets at the other side " said hikaru

"yeah sure" he took my hand and lead me in the crowded street . it was full of people I almost couldn't see Hikaru if he wasn't taking my hand "HIKA!" suddenly his hand left mine . people were everywhere pushing us aside . I got out of it after some minutes "jesus! " I gasped . looked around me for Hikaru but he wasn't anywhere .

I didn't know what to do so I called for him "HIKARUUUU!" .

I started asking people around us if they saw a guy that looks like me but with a shorter hair, some of them thought I was kidding and laughed on me , actually I couldn't care less at the moment , all I wanted to do is to find Hikaru.. I am sure he's searching for me too. After almost an hour of searching I got really dizzy and sat down beside a market . I got sick lately and the doctor told us I have to be careful and not to go out often so Hikaru was the one to go out and work to bring us money. I am not sure what does he do and he never tells me.

I looked around me again but there was no sign for Hikaru and my heart was racing in my chest. I needed to lie down. I felt as if the sky is running up me and the faces around me are mixing in a very ugly color. The pain in my stomach is unbearable.

"Hikaru…where are you.." for a second , yesterday's memories hit me all together ..he said if I die he'll be fine … but no I shouldn't believe this..Hikaru still loves me .. no he didn't leave my hand in purpose. No NO NO Hikaru wouldn't do that . I felt my eyes burning as salty tears fell down .. is that why he wanted to take me out today . so he could lose me here, and he knows I am bad at directions so I wouldn't be able to go back home again?..

_"KAO!" _

I heard a scream upon me , I moved my tears and looked , just to see Hikaru holding me "are you okay!"

he came back.. he was searching for me too ."h..hikaru…" I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and wept to him " I thought…that.. yo-u wouldn't comeback.." I sniffed. he wrapped his arms around me and hugged me . he didn't hug me in ages .. we were setting on the sidewalk and everyone was passing by us. Nobody has noticed us , nobody cared.

"can you walk?" Hikaru asked me "no.I feel so dizzy" .

" okay i'll carry you on my back , lets take you home. maybe we shouldn't leave today" and so he carried me all the way back . it was sort of a long way so once I felt better I asked him to put me down

"kaoru.."

" what Hikaru?"

" I won't leave you "

I smiled to him and lent my head on his shoulder. we walked for more 5 minutes till we got to our ugly apartment. I went directly to our bed and lied down under the blanket .

" good night hika"

"night"

" I love you" I whispered that to myself and not sure if he heard me or not. Anyways I didn't accept an answer so I slept.

**Hikaru POV**

Too many thoughts were running in my mind as well . I can't sleep most nights cause of over thinking . I sat beside the window staring at the usual scene and checking on Kaoru every now and then. When I lost him today at the streets I felt worried. And when I found him he was helpless , he thought that I'd seriously leave him there . I wouldn't do it , I promised our parents to take care of him and I wouldn't let anything harm him cause in this hell called a life, he's the only one that matters to me. I didn't notice the cigarette turned off . I threw it out the window

"Hikaru.." kaoru stood beside me rubbing his eye

"oh not you again " I said

" why did you get up?" I asked but he didn't say anything , instead he took my hand and pulled me with him to the bed "well, I don't feel like sleeping" , he went under the covers and I did the same

"close your eyes Hikaru" I sighed and closed them and kaoru pulled me so my head was on his chest now ,he fondled my hair . I needed this so much .."oh Kao.." I whispered, damn how good he could read me sometimes. After some minutes . magically , I fell into a deep sleep .

_The next morning_ we woke up on the annoying sound of the door's bell. Nobody knocks our doors at all , let alone in the morning .

"I am coming" I said while walking to the door leaving kaoru setting on the bed yawning.

I opened the door just to find a police man standing "what's the matter I've paid my tax and bills already" I said.

The man looked at me hopelessly " I'm sorry to tell you this but you have to evacuate the apartment immediately"

I got shocked , scared , angry and confused "what ..! what the fuck are you saying !" I screamed at the man's face

" this building is so old and it's ramshackle therefore the government ordered to knock it down and build a mall instead, I am sorry sir but we gonna bomb it in an hour so yo-" I shut the door in his face and slipped down to the cold cracked floor underneath my bare feet .

"Hikaru what's wrong!" kaoru was shaking me already but seems that I blanked out for a moment . I looked at him , I was almost breaking down

" its.. we need to leave this place..right now" I took his hand and lead him to our room

"hikaru why are we leaving ?" I ignored his question as I took all the money we have and all the clothes and put them inside our bags. We didn't have much to take . I wrapped the bed's blanket and put it inside too

" Where are we going to?" he asked but I was too nervous and scared that I was shivering while breathing hardly myself

"ANSWER ME HIKARU!" he screamed .

I got so mad and pushed him to the bed "do NOT scream at me again you fucking bastard" I looked so serious

" fuck off !" he pushed me away "I'm staying here , not going anywhere" by saying so he got me extremely mad that I spited it all out at him " STAY HERE AND THEY WILL KNOCK THE FUCKING BUILDING DOWN YOUR HEAD! WHY DON'T YOU JUST SHUT THE HELL UP AND FOLLOW ME!"

I turned my head away and took off more stuff and pushed them in the bags. I looked at kaoru who was not setting in the floor at the corner of the room hiding his head between his legs. I zipped the bags and walked to kaoru .

"hey…stop being a cry baby.." I said while setting in front of him "I am nervous as fuck and got no time to explain shit. They said we only have an hour. " I said, but seems that his emotional situation prevented him from even looking at me "wear these , we need to leave now" I gave him his clothes , he took them and put them on .

" I'll carry the backpacks" he said while taking them and moving out the door while I carried the big bag . went out the door , took a last look at the miserable place and left .

We put the bags down in the next street staring at the police men rounding the place and kicking out all the poor neighbors who are now homeless . after sometime we heard someone screaming "We'll knock it down in 10..9.."

I felt so damaged as if I was that building. "8..7" I sighed .

kaoru sniffed and cried" THAT WAS OUR HOUSE YOU JERKS" he screamed at the police but I hold him back

"6..5"

"calm down" I said to my terrified brother

"4..3" .

he cried his eyes out as we looked

"2..1 " I brought kaoru to me and hold him closer. The bomb exploded , he hid his face on my shoulder, the voice was too load as the building fell down . just like our last hope in life .

I sat down to the side walk while kaoru wept on my lap . our bags were all around us .

I took a look up at the faces around me … all the poor families , the men trying to look strong for their families while the kids who has left their broken toys inside were weeping , the mothers who has lost their empires looked hopeless. Their faces were all dead .

We knew the government recompense wouldn't be enough to rent a new place as cheap as the old one.

"come on Kao..lets leave"

"where to?"

"to wherever our feet would take us"

* * *

**So depressing ? yeaaah i know but things will get better later so ~~ !thanks for reading. **

**will upload soon . please leave comments. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Kaoru POV**

I was terribly sick . images, voices and smells were so ugly . the floor where my feet were stepping was moving , felt like if I was drowning in the cobbles, every time I felt like I will now collapse , I took a deep breath and tried to concentrate . Falling down and leaving Hikaru taking responsibility of me and our bags isn't an option. he was walking beside me holding a big bag full of our stuff , the look in his eyes was full of revenge. He simply believes that because life is unfair to us he must revenge from everyone and burn the country. A man who lost everything is capable of anything and I wouldn't doubt that he would forgive anyone in ever. Inside me I couldn't blame him for that since I also have these kinds of thoughts sometimes.

"come in kao" Hikaru opened a small store's door for me and I entered. It was the bakery that Hikaru usually gets me food from . I came here before. "Welcome Hikaru .. oh Kaoru is here too, nice to see you again" Jiff the old man said "nice to meet you too" I smiled to him .

"Uncle Jiff I want to ask you something" Hikaru said to him

"Ask Hikaru" jiff said

"they knocked the building where we live down and now we are homeless and I was wondering if I can keep kaoru here till I find a new place, because he's too sick to walk " Hikaru finished .

I looked at him painfully, he sure was thinking about me more than I thought he would. But I don't want to stay here as a burden I want to help him. Screw being sick "yes sure you can stay as long as you want. come with me guys" jiff said .

Hikaru put his arm around my shoulders. We entered a small room beside the place where they make cakes. I couldn't help it but to look, we didn't eat any since forever , we barley can buy bread. In the room there was a sofa and a tv "you can stay here, it's not much but would help" Jiff said as he went back to his place to help a customer .

Hikaru and I put the bags down and sat on the sofa. Hikaru lent down and put his head on my lap. He was damaged and didn't know what to do "how much money do we have?" I asked fondling his hair "50 dollars" he said , that's not enough to even rent a room for one day "we can join these homeless people groups or we can just sleep in the park yeah? Or ..or we can sleep in the train station " I tried to come up with every possible way that would help my brother to get his hopes up but that wasn't helping "do you think that I should call them?" Hikaru said . by them he means our old friends back in time.

Before our parents death we were 16 years old joining the best school in the country, Ouran High . we were jerks to everybody and totally full of ourselves. We used to think that we are the center point of the world and never gave a shit or cared about other people feelings .Back in time we had everything in our hands. All the people that said they were our friends have disappeared when after our parents death. And one of our friends that were named Kayoya has played a dirty game on us and made us sign papers. After sometime we discovered that the papers were meant for us to send all of our wealth to his family. The police kicked us out of our mansion with totally nothing but the clothes that were on us. We lost our parents and our wealth. Our so called friends never checked on us and basically nobody did , not even members of our family. We were left alone in the cold streets , hopeless , helpless and poor.

I hated them all and I'll never forgive them. That's what happen when you are rich . you can't get one true friend . it's nothing but a fake empire. "I don't know Hikaru, and I don't think they will help us now. They're just a punch of jerks" Hikaru stood up "I think I have to try. We got nothing left anyways bro" So I lied down on the sofa and opened the Tv . didn't watch one in ages. Back in time we used to watch movies in our cinema room in the house. We used to kiss every time the hero kisses the heroine in the movie. I smiled to the thought and drifted in my sweet past life.

**Hikaru POV**

I walked the street alone searching for a place to live. Entered houses and asked if anybody needed roommates but all rents were more than I could ever make for a living. I was hopeless and only left with one choice which was to go to Haruhi house. Since it was close to where I am now. I looked at the building and knocked the door once. I took a deep breath and left the place before she could open the door. My ego prevented me from asking help from a person who didn't bother checking on us when everything happened and instead stood with Kayoya the son of a bitch's side.

After hours of searching it was already 8pm so I went back to the bakery. Didn't have a single meal since yesterday and totally starving.

"I am back" I said as I entered the bakery "Hika!" kaoru ran to me "did you find anything?" he asked me but I couldn't answer so I just sigh "anyways..I have good news for you" he said " Haha what good news . I sure didn't hear any in ages" I said

"well.. I am gonna start working here . I have learned how to make bread and how to use the machines here and I found it easy to design cakes and Jiff said I am doing a good job" he said while smiling. I doubt that kaoru really was good at this . I had the feeling that Jiff wanted to help us by giving kaoru an easy job , knowing his situation. I got nothing to prevent though "that's great kao" I fondled his cheek " I'm starving , wanna go pick something?" I asked and he nodded .

we took our bags and left "okay this gonna be rude but we got to do it " sure Kaoru knew what I was talking about , we enter a restaurant ,order the food eat it and run away . we have done that before and it always works

"no" he refused

"huh why not!"

"I am feeling dizzy and we won't be able to run with all these bags"

".. you are right… okay another Idea , Come one " we walked to the center park and entered to the dancing place . usually it's full of couples with nice music so it's most time crowded . I asked Kaoru to wait for me there with the bags . I went to a far burger restaurant I noticed today and since the sheaf is an old woman who works alone I thought she won't be able to run after me . and so I did , I went there and ordered 4 cheese burgers with potatoes and drinks . once she put them to me in the window I took them and ran away very very fast. No one was running after me though , anyways it was easier than what I thought. After half an hour of walking I arrived to the center park and entered . Kaoru was sitting there , the only one that was sitting while everyone around him was dancing . I stood there for a moment staring at him . he looked sad and I guess I know why , our relationship is not as before. We didn't kiss since ages let alone making love. I am not going to explain it to you because normal people will think we are sick minded or psychopaths. Actually we never cared.

Since everything changed my feeling got colder that Kaoru once told me I turned to an ice cube. As the song finished every two lovers kissed each other ,but Kaoru wiped his tears, I didn't know he was crying till now . I walked to him , he noticed me and smiled " I was worried they might catch you" he said . I knelt down on my knees so our faces where too close to each other's , I closed my eyes and pushed my lips to him . gently kissed him , he put his arms around neck and kissed me back . it was too sweet that it made me forget we were homeless alone with nobody to care about us, for a moment I believed we are living in the past where everything is fine . after awhile we separated for air . we heard clapping behind us , I turned my head and all the people who were dancing before were staring at us smiling. "ahh..thanks" I said to them while both of us blushed . looks like the people here believed in all kinds of love. That was a special moment I won't ever forget , maybe this day is not the worst at all.

I looked to kaoru who was smiling and blushing "looks like I still love you baka" I said to him "me too" he whispered . we have eaten two of the burgers and kept two for tomorrow , we went under one of the bridges in the park . I got the blanket out from the bag as I made some of our clothes as pillows .

"are you cold?" . as we laid there I whispered to him

"yup"

"can I warm you up?"

"add the word baby to your request so I might accept"

"that's lame"

"say it"

" *sigh* baby .. "

"aww say it again"

"kaoru you dumb" I was on top of him now. I kissed him everywhere on his face , his forehead then the top of his nose , his ears , his chin, his cheeks

"umm..slow down Hikaru"

"ah.. I am sorry"

"okay..again..slowly" he was breathing hard and that made me happy. Actually today is one of the best days in ever.

* * *

**So things are getting better with them there HAHA! I am not that evil after all . anyways I wanted to write them making out in the next chapter cause i love writing that - fan girling - XD **

**please leave reviews/follow and thanks for reading!**

**chapter 4 is soon**


	4. Chapter 4

**Kaoru POV**

It wasn't a dream . what happened last night was all real that I thought , for some time , that finally the bad luck has left us. I still can remember the feelings that ran through all my body to the inner of my soul. It was more than making love between two individuals, because I find it cheap for normal humans. All they usually want is to fulfill the need to make love so that they accomplish their duty to their lovers and to themselves, I really can't find anything more disgusting in the world than treating your beloved one as a duty. For all the great things in the world and for all the bad ones that ever happened to me and my twin, I couldn't be more grateful for last night. With every touch and every whisper, a bad memory had disappear. I remember his lips touching mine so majestically and his fingers playing a symphony on my body, he knows my spots so well. When we made love , our soul was perfect again , the crack has treated itself. It was a full moon night and we were probably the only two people in the whole park. The moaning wasn't something I could control let alone that Hikaru loves it, so every time he pushed it in me , the feelings rush into me as the first rain in the Deseret, the need for being loved back and again by the one that is meant for you after you thought you have lost them forever. And once we reached our climax we reached a very high level of pleasure that took us for a moment beyond life itself. We lied beside each other on the grace. gasping.

The moon was watching us and sent very nice breezes. the park was completely empty. after that we put on some new clothes and slept under a tree .

"so are you warmed now?" he asked

" are you kidding me!, I felt like a volcano hahaha..it felt amazing" I whispered to his ear and put my head on his chest

"I'm glad" he played with my hair "goodnight kao"

"good night" He brought the blanket on us , Hikaru's arm under me and my head on his chest , I felt so safe in his arms. I wanted to say that I love him but there was a small doubt within me that said, don't say it tonight. And so I slept

_**Hikaru POV**_

It's morning already. I couldn't sleep as well , spent the night wondering of the motives after what happened last night and so I came to a conclusion that I was waiting of the edge of the unknown and as if kaoru was inside screaming , save me now , and that's all I could do to help kaoru . actually I remembered all the sadness and frustration that I couldn't let go. Because I used to always build up hope . I didn't want my twin to suffer all that when I was the one to put him all together again. Maybe that's the last thing I could do for him. He wanted this so bad that he was enjoying it to the max. me in the other hand felt as if I am fooling kaoru but at the same time I felt so complete myself so at that point I couldn't know what happened exactly.

"kaoru..wake up" I touched his shoulder. He's a very light sleeper so he opened his eyes immediately "errrm.. the ground is too hard , my back hurts ..*yawn* hmm..hikaru ? did you have any sleep?"

" probably for two hours..I couldn't stop thinking as well"

" and what were you thinking about?"

"meh , some bullshit you don't wanna know. Anyways , you shouldn't be late on your first day at work right?" by that we left the park and I walked kaoru to the bakery

"umm so ..i'll get in, don't you wanna..I mean..eh never mind" kaoru murmured and wanted to open the door when I pulled him and captured his lips in a very strong but sweet kiss. When we separated he was blushing "ehm..that was lovely" he said "haha okay I got to go now, take care kao" I said and he nodded "you too" . I am glad I still can read him as an open book.

I left to search for a well paid job . the fact that I was once a rich boy who didn't know how to do a one right thing is still in the back of my mind. However, I spent the whole day searching and in the end I found a job in a spa for the high class people, all I had to do is changing towels and make sure to change the covers every 5 hours.

Weeks went by and we are still homeless and didn't collect much money to rent an apartment.

One day I was going to get kaoru from the bakery because it was raining heavily, we needed to find a place to stay . when I got there I realized an ambulance that stood there and doctors went out and rushed inside the store. I automatically new that something happened to kaoru. I felt that my heart fell down to my legs as I was shivering.

"this is all my fault .." these are the only words that ran through my head all the time when kaoru was in ICU. Jiff told me he collapsed while working, he shouldn't work to start with and now all that is my fault and I don't know how I am going to fix it.

After an hour the doctor went out of the room.

"is he okay?" I asked the first question that came to my head

"well.. yes he is and he's awake now, actually we made some tests for him and we are waiting for the results, can't tell you anything else now " the white bearded doctor said.

"oh god.. can I see him now?" I asked

"yes sure. "

And so I got in the room . he was lying down coughing . his hair was messy , his right hand was connected to some tube. He noticed me and looked hopeless " I'm sorry I did my best not to fall down the last weeks, but I couldn't hold that anymore and the pain this time was just too real.." he said and I walked to him and hugged him " easy on yourself kao this is all my fault , you shouldn't work at all" we stayed hugging for almost 2 minutes , I was scared.. I didn't want to lose him also..

The last time we went to the doctor he told us that all he needs is rest yet when I asked him if kaoru needs any medicine he told me , "you won't be able to offer that anyways". So I had my doubts,| if all he needed is rest then why is his medicine too expensive?!". When I asked the doctor he didn't answer and asked us to leave.

This time..this time it hurts so bad , this time I knew why I can't pay for his medicine, because the chemotherapy was more than I can ever make. The doctor told us that he needs to start the chemotherapy in a week, otherwise the cancer is going to get worst and he wouldn't stand any chance to fight it. All he needed is 4 therapy sets and that would cost me 5700 dollars.

After the doctor announcement he didn't say a word. Tears were running down my eyes like rain, I replaced my arm around him protectively. It was more than a breakdown to me , it was like killing in a slow motion yet you can't run out of it. I had no hope , and for the thousand time I wanted to commit suicide. Him losing me would be easier for me to suffer than I losing him. I wouldn't be able to handle the pain. I just wouldn't

For days kaoru was silent, he was drowning so deep and this time I couldn't reach him. Lately I discovered that everything which belong to god can also belong to Satan

"There is a nothing as perfectness in our life". Day after day I was reading stories for kaoru under now our tree. Every day we used to go to work , actually we found that the only reason to get ourselves busy from our miserable reality.

"Hikaru..?" he said my name. I didn't hear his voice in days and now the first word he said was my name. Somehow that made me smile "what is it sweetheart?" I said , setting behind him , wrapping my arms around him "I am sorry for being a jerk, back in the old days.." he said , looking at the sky "it's okay.. Actually, you can be a jerk as long as you stay here with me.."I murmured to his hair then sighed. He turned and gently kissed my cheek "I don't wanna leave you.." he said promising and I hopelessly smiled.

* * *

_**thanks for reading. sorry for the late update , I had a bad internet connection : (**_

_**. next chapter includes Tamaki and mostly it's the climax of the story**_

_**:) please follow and review , I really want to know what do you think about it**_


	5. Chapter 5

**Hikaru POV**

The work wasn't much today so I decided to take a walk around the hotel. It was super fancy but I think if I visited it five years ago I wouldn't find it fancy at all. I took a turn while looking at the awesome lights on the wall, suddenly I crushed to someone and fill down "oh man I am so sorry I didn't see you" the one I crushed to said as he helped me up. when I looked to his face I froze . "… it's you ..one of the hitachiin twins" the blond head said .

it was him " Tamaki Sou.. " he was the leader of the host club before . yes, the boss of the gang . and he has put his hand with the one who stole our family money

" oh my god .. I searched for you guys everywhere!" he said

" no you didn't" I said

" yes I did ! I wanted to talk to you guys " he said

" if you wanted to talk to us you would have done it long time ago" I said

" excuse me I got to go . oh and I hope you guys are enjoying your life with my parents fortune " I wanted to leave when he took my hand and made me stop "Hikaru please! I need to explain everything to you .. please give me a chance!" he said. I hesitated a little but then I agreed . we went to the nearest table and sat to talk " why are you working here?" by asking me that question , he got me seriously mad "WHY AM I WORKING HERE ! WHY AM I …OKAY , MAYBE BECAUSE YOU AND YOUR FUCKING FRIEND STOLE EVERYTHING , MAYBE BECAUSE I AM HOMELESS , MAYBE TO PAY FOR KAORU'S CHEMOTHERAPY!" I seriously wanted to leave now. I didn't mean to tell him I just got frustrated by his usual stupidity.

"wait ! I'll help him , I'll pay ..Hikaru.." he said and I stopped again .. I wanted him to pay , it is why that sentence jumped to my head when I screamed at him. I was burning from the inside, I didn't want for one of the reasons of why we are here now to help me. I didn't want to because I will never forgive him , yet , there is that part on me , the strong part , that has burned my pride for Kaoru's sake. Because I might still a human after all , I could do anything for Kaoru to stay alive and I wouldn't let my anger to dominate and waste this chance.

" you said..you said you'll pay?" I asked " yes , yes I will. Please Hikaru let me explain it to you and to him, I can't live with this … I think about you guys every night and I can't forgive myself for not doing anything about it.." he said " cut the bullshit Tamaki. Anyways, I'll let you meet Kaoru"

"Oh Tamaki I was searching for you..wait a second is that you? ..Hikaru !" the black hair girl said . she was Haruhi , one of the old members of that club too " yeah .. it's me" I said giving her a cold look . " oh my god Hikaru you have changed a lot.." she said " well, I'm a grown up now" , "where is Kaoru?"she asked looking around her , probably she thinks he must be around here cause I am here as well " we were about to go and see him , you must join me Haruhi" Tamaki said to her as we both stood up " yeah "

In the way to the bakery I told them about Kaoru's situation and that he needs the therapy immediately. And I didn't believe the sort of feelings they showed, I can't trust these people anymore but I can use them. just like the way they used us.

We got to the bakery , I entered with them following me "hello Jiff , where's Kaoru?" I asked the man "He's inside designing a cake" , " oh okay , Tamaki , Haruhi you might wait for me here , I'll get him" I walked to the room where I saw Kaoru's back , he was working busily. I hide his eyes with my hands "guess who!" I asked and he smiled "Hikaruuuu!" he lovely said , he turned and hugged me "what took you so long I missed you"

" I have met Tamaki Sou" I said and Kaoru froze " wh-what! why did you meet that sucker?" he said in an annoying tone "I met him by coincidence and he wants to speak to both of us" I said "hell no ,I won't speak to him" I expected that answer "Kaoru.. would you trust me in this? Please..just speak to him for me" I gave him a beg look "..okay..okay Hikaru whatever you want" he said and I took a deep breath , he took off his work apron and we walked out .

Tamaki and Haruhi stared at Kaoru and he did the same. Nobody said a word for a complete minute, the look in Kaoru's eyes were to hard to be explained but I saw a mix of anger and cold feelings. Tamaki decided to break the cold " it's..it's nice to see you again Kaoru .." he said but Kaoru didn't say a thing in return actually he looked disgusted. " Kaoru I will explain everything to you and I completely understand your feelings right now" Tamaki said " say what..? you understand nothing " Kaoru said " Hikaru , Kaoru ..please we just want to explain things to you guys. " Haruhi said . if it wasn't for Kaoru's therapy I would have pushed them down and beaten them to death . but instead I nodded and put my hand on Kaoru's shoulder "let's see what they got " I whispered to him . actually I didn't tell him that Tamaki will pay for his therapy cause there is no way in hell Kaoru would accept that. And I knew it , yet this was the only way not to lose my brother. "okay.." Kaoru said to them as we all walked out the bakery and entered Tamaki's lemo. It was a very very long time since we last had a ride in a lemo, I saw Kaoru drowning in his seat.. long time since we last sat on such comfy couches. He took us to an Italian food restaurant , he knew we love Italian food. I know Kaoru found that as a temptation yet he didn't say anything .

We entered the fancy restaurant and sat around a table beside the window. We looked in the menu

" I'll go with pasta and steak , what about you Kaoru? " I said

"same thing" he coldly answered. The waitress stood beside us and I couldn't but to check her out , I didn't see a hot chick like that in ages let alone that she was wearing an Italian custom that made her extra hot. Tamaki and Haruhi ordered their food as we also did. I checked her ass when she walked away "wooh what a hottie " I said " indeed " Tamaki agreed and Kaoru gave me the death look "what! Ain't like am gonna sleep with her!" the fact that I am bisexual always annoyed Kaoru "Hikaru.. I am the only creature that accepts to sleep with you" Kaoru joked "well excuse me but I rock your world" I said

" oh god why do I need to hear this speech again" Haruhi said and I laughed " anyways guys , it's really amazing to meet you again" she said "oh please, just keep in mind I only came here to eat " Kaoru said " are you going to explain things or what?" I asked " yeah..yes .

" so Tamaki took a breath then looked at both of us "after your parents death and when you got all depressed , Kyoya told Kaoru that he has feelings for him" Tamaki said and I got surprised " what?" I looked at Kaoru "why you never told me?" I asked him "why would I tell you ! I rejected him immediately!" Kaoru said "wait…you don't mean…" Kaoru said looking at Tamaki" yes , he did all what he did to revenge from you cause you broke his heart and you didn't even give him a chance" Tamaki said as we both got surprised "that.." I got angry " FUCK THAT SON OF A BITCH" and hit the table "WHO IN THE WORLD DOES HE THINK HE IS!" I screamed as everybody in the restaurant looked at us " Hikaru please calm down" Haruhi said "he wanted to punish you for that and because Kaoru told him he loves you Hikaru and will never think about Kayoya in that way " Tamaki said " so you are saying..we've been living a shitty life cause of that reason! I rejected him cause I didn't have feelings for him! As simple as that! " Kaoru said

"seems that you broke his heart so badly .anyhow , after that , Kayoya has threaten all of our families and for his family to be the strongest of all and we had to shut up seeing him stealing your parents money , if we by any chance spoke about it or helped you guys by anyway he'd have hurt our families ..we had nothing to do guys..that's why Hikaru and Kaoru, we are sorry for not doing a thing that really tortures me every night since then , every night I have thought about you guys.. " Tamaki finished .

we all were silent and me and Kaoru looked at each other's eyes . after awhile the waitress came with the food she put it on front of us and left " so guys ,tell us about your life now" Haruhi said , I looked to Kaoru but he didn't want to answer that instead he took his frock and knife and started eating

"well..nothing good , we lived in the streets , sometimes were too hungry that we couldn't sleep , we have been into fights and got our money stolen by street gangs . I got into depression and started smoking but I didn't do drugs , not cause I didn't want to but cause I had no money to do so " I said and Kaoru gave me a weird look "errm well , lately the police have knocked down the building we used to live in and we were thrown to the streets and that's all including the things I told you about before " I said and didn't want to mintion Kaoru's sickness but I failed in doing so cause he asked right after that" what things? You didn't tell them about …" he said as I nodded " Hikaru!" Kaoru said annoyed and stood up "Kaoru please sit , your brother only wants to safe you! And I just explained what happened before to you guys so there is no reason to get mad ! I just wanna help you" Tamaki said but Kaoru looked angry at him "I do NOT want your help!" he left the table and went to the bathroom .

"oh god..he's become so sensitive lately about everything… I'll go speak to him , please pardon us" I left to the bathroom . Kaoru was setting in the floor hiding his face between his knees I sat in front of him "hey..look at me.." I took his hands in mine "no.." he simply answered "you are angry because Tamaki is the one who's gonna help you and your ego doesn't let you accept it , I understand " I said to him , he looked at me " but it's the only way..you should start the therapy soon , otherwise…Kaoru..I don't want to lose you , fuck the ego and fuck all the manners if they gonna make me lose you! Please.." I put my hand on his head. He sniffed and tears fell down his eyes as we both stood up , he hid him self on my shoulder and cried , I hugged him and pat his head "you're gonna be alright , be happy …you are going to stay with me" I sighed deeply, felt as if a huge mountain of pain has left my heart. I raised his chin and kissed his lips. They tasted sweet , at least his tears weren't as salty as usual. "I'm thankful after all." He said "yet I don't think that I might forgive them" he added " you shouldn't. but, we got to use them for our own benefits , it's not like we'd be friends with them anymore . we'll only act , like in the old days just to get a better life than this , dear " I said smiling to him " okay..okay I agree Hikaru " he said and walked to the sink and washed his face. After that we went back to our table.

"oh Kaoru I hope you feel better " Tamaki said

"yeah..I am fine , thanks for your offer .. I'll accept it " faked a smile and continued eating

"so guys . I want you guys to move to my mansion , I now live alone with Haruhi" Tamaki said and I opened my mouth slightly in shock. So him and Haruhi are dating , well I don't have anything against that I guess "oh that would be great!" Kaoru said and looked at me but at this moment I was staring at Haruhi and thinking what would have been if she was mine and I think Kaoru caught that look and then he looked away. I don't have anything to explain to him actually. These are just wild thoughts , nothing is real. Tamaki paid for the dinner and so we walked to the car that rid us to his mansion. Kaoru in the other hand was looking out the window calmly and didn't say much , I wanted to take his hand but I don't know I thought he wou'd push me away. 15 minutes we reached to Tamaki's mansion, a big garden around it and a small house beside it for the maids. Tamaki sent someone to bring our bags from the bakery as we entered the place.

"you can pick any room you want" Tamaki said

"can I..can I have my own room?" Kaoru asked and I looked surprised at him but even though I didn't say anything. I want my own privacy as well and I think I really want to stay away from his for some time "but why? I thought you guys like to share a room?" Tamaki the idiot asked making it more awkward " since I'll start the chemotherapy I think I should be away from him " Kaoru explained , well, I didn't think of that reason also I believe Kaoru made that up. Still I got nothing to prevent.


	6. Chapter 6

**Tamaki POV**

I didn't know what's happening exactly between the twins but I could feel the stress around them. The situation is really hard for both of them and because I promised them that I'll help I really can't leave their side now. The three of us sat on the chairs beside the room where Kaoru is taking his first chemo therapy, Hikaru was looking down to the floor and sigh from time to time , they didn't allow him to enter with Kaoru so he stayed here. Haruhi was setting between me and him and she was looking at her watch waiting for the therapy to end so we can go back home. " I'll get us some coffee " Haruhi said and went to the coffee machine "so Tamaki...I didn't know you were dating her .. I mean , since when?" Hikaru asked and I got surprised from that kind of question at this time , I thought that he should be thinking of Kaoru , anyways I planned to answer him " well , it has been five months since then . after we graduated from ouran we went to different universities so I didn't have much time to meet with her and one day she called me and said she wanna talk , so we went out and here we go" I said to him " I see..well, congrats to you guys" Hikaru said then he sigh again "what's the matter Hikaru ?" I asked " what? No.. nothing, I am just worried about Kaoru all alone inside , god knows what they are doing to him right now" he said but I felt something wrong as if he was lying , like of course he must be worried about Kaoru but using that as an excuse didn't convince me . anyhow , I didn't plan to ask any other question.

After half an hour a nurse went out the room and asked Hikaru to enter with her and so he did.

**Hikaru POV**

I entered a white room full of doctors and nurses and there were a group of people setting couches with medicine tubes connected to their hands , in the corner there was a nurse taking the needles from my twin's hand . he looked miserable , he was pale and looked dizzy, I rushed to him "KAO!" I knelt down beside him and touched his face while looking to him "what the hell did you do to him?" I asked the nurse "it's okay mister Hitachiin , it's the syndrome after the therapy also he will puke and feel dizzy for at least two days , there is a chance for his hair to fall after the fifth therapy set but since he will only take four then probably his hair won't fall . keep an eye on him." She finished and went to the next person to tell his family the same. I looked at Kaoru who was hiding his mouth with his hand and coughing "it's gonna be okay" I hugged him but he didn't wrap his arms around me , I guess he was too tired to move . "carry me Hikaru..i can't walk" he whispered , I put my arm under his legs and an arm under his back and left him up, he hid his face on my chest . I looked down at him , he was holding my shirt and shivering . damn this shitty therapy had to put him in so much pain . I went out the room where Tamaki and Haruhi harried to us "please don't let them look at me like that" Kaoru whispered to me " oh my god is he going to be okay?" Haruhi asked " yes yes he will , please..let's go" I said to them as we walked out and sat in the car , while in the road Kaoru stopped us twice and went out to vomit .

after that hard ride we got to the mansion again , Kaoru walked tiredly to his room and slammed the door behind him "Kao? Open the door for me!" I knocked on it "I wanna stay alone" he said in a sad tone. I understood that , he hated for anybody to see him being weak and helpless but come on it's me , I have seen him in worst situations so what's the different now yet I decided to give him his privacy "okay then..I am in my room if you needed anything just call me" I said . there were a telephone in every room in this house.

I went to my room and sat on the bed. " so now I have nothing to do with my life..now everything got fixed.. " I relaxed and allowed myself to sleep for the first time without any worries .

**Kaoru POV**

I went to the bathroom and puked everything out as I shivered, some tears fell down my eyes . I took a deep breath and went to the sink. I looked at my messed up face in the mirror. My messed up brown hair was all on my face , my buffed eyes cause I cried a lot in the last days after all that happened and black bags under them , and my skin that is now bale and..i hated what I saw , I hated my face and my body and that I am weak and sick .. I opened the water and put my head under it , let my hair get wet too. " I am nothing like what I used to be…" I am ugly. Even Hikaru finds me ugly now .. I hope I could be enough for him but with this face and skinny body of mine I will never get close to satisfy him. I opened the shower and took off all of my clothes and just sat under the shower. I didn't have a good one in ages , I looked at all the shampoo types and soups that lied beside the tub and picked some . the sweet smells calmed me down and I didn't want to think about anything right now. "My dear parents in heaven please help me.. " I didn't want Hikaru to look at anyone the same way he looked at me. I want him all to myself , I am madly in love with him and that's for sure but after yesterday when he checked the waitress and got his eye on Haruhi then I don't know what in the world I'm gonna do. I don't want to put all the blame on him because I look miserable and ugly let alone that now after starting this chemo therapy, I am being so weak, won't even enjoy having sex or get hot at least, I am a useless corpse that's not good at anything. I was too tired that stood up slowly then turned off the water, I put a towel on my head and went out .

the bathroom was inside my room so I walked totally naked and lied down on the bed . I pulled the blanket and covered my body , I stayed like that for almost an hour till somebody knocked on my door "who's there?" I weakly said

" it's me !" oh it's Hikaru ..

I tried hardly to stand and walk to the door , I put the key in the door and opened it , looked at Hikaru from the door's crack " yes hika?" I asked

" wha!..let me in Kaoru " he said

"I don't think it's a good idea" I said

" why? Just let me in sweety" he said , i like it when he uses cute words so I hesitated a little then decided to open it ,he got in. I closed the door behind him. He looked at my naked body "oh did you have a shower? you smell so sweet" he said as he brought me to a hug , one of his hands wrapped around my back and the other under my west , but I didn't have the argue to hug him back, I know he doesn't love as I do love him "ah..why don't you hug me back?" he asked as he separated from me and looked to my eyes , searching for an answer "why don't you go hug that waitress or ..Haruhi? " I calmly said "what are you talking about?" he wondered looking confused . I sigh painfully and went back to the bed , covered myself and only looked at him "hika…it's okay if you sleep with any girl you want .. I know I am not good enough for you and that my ugly body and face will never be enough for you or for anybody else , I really understand your needs an-" I stopped because he cut me off saying" SHUT UP! What in the world are you saying? I just checked that waitress I'd never replace her with you baka ! plus what about all the bullshit that you said ! I love your body and face the most!" he said as he lied in the bed beside me and kissed my cheek "please don't say that again.. I think .." he sits up and pulls me with him" all you need is a new haircut " he touches the top of my nose with his finger and fondle my cheek. I think either I am confused or Hikaru is lying to me.


	7. Chapter 7

**Kaoru POV**

One day Hikaru woke me up in a hurry I didn't know what was happening so I looked at him in a surprise "what's the matter !" I asked " Kayoya knew we are staying here with Tamaki and he's coming for a visit ! that son of a bitch , I'll kill him by my hands! If only he puts a finger on you I'll turn his life to hell!" Hikaru said in anger , is that jealousy that I am seeing in his eyes?

I climber my twin's lap and kissed his lips slowly for a moment as he returned the kisses , our tongues touched as Hikaru deepen the kiss . I tangled my hands to his hair as our privet parts were touching since I was sitting on his lap , damn how much I love him. We separated from the kiss and gasped for air , this was perfect but not enough for Hikaru

He put me down to the bed with him upon me and started biting on my neck while his body , fully clothed , crushed to mine . "aw..Hikaru you're hurting me..AWW" he bite strongly on my neck then stopped when I moaned " this will leave a mark" I said " exactly " he said , and I catch his point and gave him a thankful look "you're all mine, yeah?" he asked and kissed me light small kisses on my jaw beside my lips and on my cheeks as I brought him closer , tangled my hands on his back "yeah..all yours " I said proudly as I touched his pants zipper , we didn't have sex in the morning or sex at all in ages since first of all we didn't have place and second of all that I started my chemo therapy which led to me becoming cold and weak for almost a week but now I am all fine and better than before.

I unzipped Hikaru's pants as tried to move hardly under him while he was biting on my chest now , I moaned to that but suddenly Hikaru stood up and left to the door , I was too surprised I thought he wanted to leave but in face he slammed the door closed and lock it with the key " privacy first " he said and run back to me and jump on me "Wooh ! that was wild!" I said and he laughed I took off his t shirt "Oh my god!" I said while looking at his now super masculine body and his abs that looked so damn sexy , and this is the first time I see his body in ages too "all yours" he whispers to my ear "when did you work out ,baby?" I asked while kissing his lips and touching his chest and abs with my fingers "all nights" came his answer "you should never wear a t shirt ..but that's a bad idea ..AHH..*he kissed my nipple*..errm..don't want ladies to put their ugly full of mascara eyes on you.." he took off my shirt , my body was nothing like his , I am skinnier and cutter while he looked stronger and more masculine , damn I'd love to cuddle with him for hours . I took off his pants as he sat on the bed " I want to do this so bad" I said to him as I touched his dick "show me your skills hahaha!" he said , I kissed his lips then went down on four between his legs and licked him down there , on his boxer I kissed him everywhere "oh hell.. I'm getting hard take that off" he said , Hikaru hates to moan , it's against his morals and I never knew why but I took this as a challenge .

I took off his boxer to see his hard dick, I licked the top of it then took it all in my mouth as I started sucking , I saw Hikaru trying his best to only gasp and not moan so I faster my moves on him , then I stopped for air and to spit my saliva , and then I licked his balls "AHOH!" it ran out of his mouth , I looked proud on him as he rolled his eyes "hehehe!" I laughed and continued , I put it in my mouth again "dammit it feel so perfect !" he said as I fasten my moved "KAO! I'LL..OH..I.." I didn't pull away , I wanted him to come in my mouth and so he did " dammit *he gasped* I..oh..am ..sorry kao.." it was so much I spit some and swallowed the rest "I love it" I said as he pulled me to him and hugged me "you're all I want" he said and catch my lips . a knock in the door stopped us "who in the world is this?" Hikaru asked "ah..I am Tamaki..sorry to bother you ..errm". "what is it?" Hikaru asked "Kyoya is here " Tamaki said "okay give us sometime" Hikaru answered as Tamaki left .

"my sweet love Kaoru , do you think of what I am thinking?" he asked and I sure knew , Hikaru wants to fuck me so hard that I'd moan so load and Kayoya would hear it and go crazy."HAHAHA! what a way to revenge hika..but..yeah..i'd love to take you all in me" I said giving him a dirty look that turned him on again . he jumped on me and kissed me so hard , he took off my pants and then boxers and started eating me , he bite on my back and hold my buttocks then he took my dick on his hand and massaged it "do we have any lotion here ?" he said while kissing my chest " in the bathroom " Hikaru went to the bathroom as I gasped , he always makes me breathless , I lent down on the bed looking at my hardness and praying to god that Hikaru won't break my walls . "Oh found it!" I heard his voice as he rushed back to the bed.

I closed my legs as he put some lotion on his hands and on his dick as well then looked at me "I'll be gentle" he said "yeah I believe you" I said as he smirked , he wants this so bad to prove his domination on me and make it all clear to Kayoya , even thought this story has gone long time ago yet he still want to do so. He slipped his hand under my legs and found my hole he looked at me lovingly "will you relax? It's not your first time" he said "it's my first time in ages , it always feel the same after not doing it for a long time Hikaru!" , " yeah you are always tight indeed " he stabbed my hole with his index and middle finger "AAHH!..Hikaruuuu..!" , "see , it'll hurt if you don't relax and open your legs wildly " , "shut up jerk you want to hurt me and make me scream" I said as I let some tears fall down my eyes , I can let my tears fall whenever I want to . " , "wrong..*he kisses my forehead* I want you to scream out of pleasure" he stabbed his fingers deeply inside and faster that I felt some cum is going out as I moaned "see you gonna enjoy it now moan loader for me sweetheart" his hits were fast and I really started feeling high of it that I was moving with his hand now . I looked us at Hikaru's proud face , I brought the pillow and through it on his face "jerk jerk jerk..AHHH! " he pushed them in my and I felt like losing my head I closed my eyes but then he stopped and took his fingers out as I gasped "baby are you ready?" Hikaru asked me as I nodded.

**Tamaki POV**

HOLY MOLY! Those evil twins will never change , I told them Kayoya is here and look what they are doing , Kaoru's room was beside the living room and we could hear him moan Hikaru's name and oh my god they will fuck it up really this time , I saw Kayoya's face turn to red of anger . we didn't say anything because Kaoru's moans were so load "AHHH HIKARU ! FASTER YEAAAH" I felt my face becoming red , "umm..Kayoya I am sorry for this … " I said as he gave me a death look "you should be sorry for them" Kayoya said in anger as the party inside that room ended "I LOVE YOU HIKARU AND ONLY YOU!" we heard Kaoru screaming "YES BABY YOU ARE MINE ALONE" Hikaru screamed . as they stopped , Kayoya stood in anger and left the hall "I came here with good deeds but they brought it to themselves , they'll see what I Kayoya Otori can do. " he left my house and drove his car out of my doors.

I walked to the room and knocked the door hardly " YOU BOTH PIECES OF SHIT HE WANTED TO MAKE UP WITH YOU BUT AFTER ALL THE…THINGS..WE'VE HEARD YOU DOING , HE WENT ANGRY ! " I screamed to the door as Hikaru , for sure , opened the door , half naked with a towel around his lowest part"calm the shit down tono ! " he ironically said "what the fuck Hikaru ! I am not against your relationship but what you've done to Kayoya is heartless !" I said to his face "Oh YEAH? " he went out of the room and closed the door "NOW THIS IS HEARTLESS? PLEASE EXPLAIN YOUR LOGIC TO ME! HE STOLE MY PARENTS MONEY AND THREW US TO THE COLD STREETS FOR FIVE STRIGHT FUCKING YEARS !AND YOU CALL THIS HEARTLESS ! DAMMIT TAMIKI !" he said in anger and I hesitated a little and sigh

"what's happening why are you guys screaming?" from behind me I heard Haruhi's voice , I turned and catch her eyes running on Hikaru's body "wow..nice abs "she said to him "well thank you" he said and smirked , I covered my face with my hand and tried not to get more anger. "you really look way too masculine than years before .." Haruhi said but was cut by Kaoru's voice from inside the room "Hikaruuu, you fucked me so hard that I can't walk " I heard him saying as Hikaru blushed and Haruhi took a deep breath "Don't worry Kaoru I won't steal him from you" Haruhi said "because… I already have one idiot beside me"she walked to me and tangled to my hand "anyways Hikaru , I am not responsible for Kayoya's reaction .." I said to him and left with Haruhi as he entered the room again .

"what happened?" Haruhi asked me

" these stupid twins were making out when Kayoya was here and he heard everything and left in anger ..but they look careless , I don't really understand them , maybe they have been in so much shit before that they don't give a damn anymore "

"yeah..they have changed a lot actually , they've became stronger " she said

"yes but what's the point of that if they can't live a good life? They'd keep struggling forever, I think I'll speak to Kayoya again..hopefully he would understand .."

" so Kayoya discovered that he made a mistake towards them and wanted to make it up?"

"not really , he never regrets anything though he just wanted to try to get Kaoru again , but after what we heard..i don't think so … they are stupid " I said as we walked to my car "where to?" she asked

"I don't know , anywhere but here".


	8. Chapter 8

**Hikaru POV**

I spent the night at Kaoru's room , we cuddled for hours till he finally slept , his head on my shoulder . I really love to cuddle with him but it makes my shoulder feels numb so I rest his head on the pillow and left the room . as I closed the door , somebody was standing behind me "wooh! You scared the shit out of me Haruhi !" I said "oh you were on my way Hikaru !" she said as she kept walking " so I guess you can't sleep too?" I asked her " umm..yeah. do you wanna have some milk and honey?" she asked and I nodded while walking beside here in the corridor and down to the kitchen, I couldn't but notice how much she changed since high school ,she used to be flat that everybody thought that she was a boy , but now she has fully grown woman body , I liked her curves and long black hair .

I sat on the chair and lied my head on the table " you seem tired " she said

"somehow. kaoru needs a lot of care lately , he's over emotional cause of the chemo therapy and most nights wake of a nightmare " I said to her as she sat on the chair in front of me

"Hikaru..are you happy with your relationship? " I got surprised of her question and blinked my eyes twice . I was running from this question for a long time but Haruhi was so good in knowing what people hide , that what made her special back in high school "I can't answer this question..what do you think?"

" I think you're doing it only for Kaoru "

"and how is that?" I asked even though I knew that this is the truth

"well , let's look at it from the beginning with , when you were 16 years old , kaoru admitted to you about his feelings and you didn't want to break his heart because he's the most important person in your life after losing your parents , so you agreed . Kaoru's gay but you're not , you only love him as a twin should love his twin , doing that is only for his sake not for you , you've been ignoring yourself for a very long time …making you unhappy and unsatisfied about your life . am I right?" she added a smile

" you surprised me Haruhi .."

"I had to spit it on your face , cause I don't like to see a friend of mine suffering because he can't put a stop to this "

"do you know what would happen to him if he knows this? That I have been lying to him for 5 years now"

"do you wanna keep lying to him for more 5 years ?" she hit this question straight on my face

"Hikaru..if you didn't agree on this long time ago, Kaoru could be ending with Kayoya and everything would have been perfect . it's a life mistake ..so of course if you want to stop it you'll pay hard to fix it" she finished. I hopelessly smiled , looked down at my milk cup , covered my face with my hand , she has moved her hand on my head ,I am really a mess "you can do it Hikaru "

"I can't hurt him .." I said

"then leave.."

"what?"

"he's gonna be fine here with me and Tamaki , we'll take care of him "

"and..where should I go?"

"hmm I don't know , anywhere in the world ! tamaki will pay , it's your parents money after all"

"but..I promised him I won't ever leave him .."

"Hikaru ! you got to do this for yourself , he's going to be fine , you are both adults and can handle this "

"thank you for the milk " I put the cup down "I'll think about that " I smiled to her and went back to Kaoru's room . the light of the table lamp was on, I opened the door to see him setting on the bed "kao..?" I walked to him , I realized the weird look in his eyes as I sat beside him.

We stayed silent like that for almost 2 minutes only looking at each other eyes.

"what's wrong?" I finally said

" I don't know " he looked away " you tell me what's wrong" I got surprised "Oh god..did you hear what me and Haruhi was saying?" he didn't answer so I knew he did , damn it ! how did I forget that he's a very light sleeper ..I wanted to wrap my arms around him and hug him, what can we call that , a betrayal ? a very deep wound I cost him , the worst mistake of all times .. I didn't know . He pushed my hands away. "go out of my room" he said in a broken tone , "dammit * whispered* Kaoru dear ..I did so for y-" I was cut by him screaming to me "OUT !" , I saw the tears falling down his eyes like rain as he sniffed . I didn't see kaoru broken like that in my life. I didn't see him in much pain like this before. my stupidity is the reason of everything . I grabbed my head with my arms, what have I done…what have I done … what in the world have I done…

I fell down to the floor and everything turned to black.

**KAORU POV**

A Broken heart. no …A burned heart , that's the word. Hikaru..why have you done this !, I had many thoughts now as I looked at his sleeping figure. The doctor said he fell down cause of exhaustion and lack of sleep. I sigh , it's painful , every time I sigh I feel like crying .. and I do. All the things we've been through as a couple .. all were lies and I fell for them. Tamaki entered the room "oh..kaoru please calm down , he will be alright.." he put his hand on my head "I know he will " I said as more tears fell from my eyes "then why are you crying?" he said and sat beside me. I sniffed , looked at Tamaki "after all these years I just knew that he never loved me…" Tamaki looked surprised and then he brought me to a hug and I accepted it. I didn't hug anybody but Hikaru after my parents' death so this was somehow weird. Tamaki didn't know what to say instead he bat my head as we both looked at Hikaru. "I think that..I am the one who should leave, not Hikaru "I said to Tamaki who looked surprised "no! None of you should leave , you guys need to be open with each other not leaving ! cause you have to face this sooner or later !" Tamaki said , load enough that we realized Hikaru opening his eyes .He blinked twice then looked at our side, my eyes met his eyes but I couldn't look at them so I turned my eyes away and stood up "kao.." I heard him saying but I left the room , I really didn't want to speak to Hikaru , not now or anytime. He hurt me so bad and I really can't trust him or love him anymore. I walked out the house to the garden and sat on one of the big sofas beside the swimming pool . I moaned from the pain in my heart "I am an idiot …how did I believe him all of these years! "

I wanted to revenge from Hikaru for lying to me and breaking my heart like that , I wanted to revenge from Haruhi for ruining my life , I wanted to revenge from Kayoya for the past. I won't forgive any of them..


	9. Chapter 9

**Hikaru POV**

My thoughts are the main reason why I always lose. Kaoru stopped talking to me or even looking at me , it has been two days since he knew the truth that I was hiding for the longest time, please don't you misunderstand me either. It's not that I wanted to use my twin brother to release myself , hell no , I am not that low ! back in time, he was the only person that I could trust and he was always there for me. I couldn't imagine myself leaving him behind or replacing him with another. Never wanted to lose him because I knew nobody in the world would ever love me the way he does, so that was the thing.

"so today is your second chemo set?" Haruhi asked Kaoru , we all were sitting around the breakfast table "yeah" he answered while taking a bite of his pie "I'll come with you" I said but he acted as if he didn't hear me and continued eating , not even looking at me . he didn't say a word to me the last two days made me feel as if I am invisible. "Hikaru I will go with him instead " Tamaki said " hell no , he's my little brother not yours , I'll take care of him!" I said "yeah..yeah I know , but seems he doesn't want you to take care of him" tamaki said "well excuse me but you don't know what does he wants !" I said " you have hurt him before what do we expect else from you ? great Hikaru !" tamaki said , I stood up in anger and wanted to start a fight when kaoru stood up too " I want to go alone " he said and left the table . "awesome , now he's mad at both of you ,idiots " Haruhi said. "you drove me mad !" I said to tamaki "you always want to dominate him as if he is yours , which is obviously not anymore " tamaki said and now I was ready to hit him on his face !

**Haruhi POV**

I left the two stupid boys kicking each other as two of the bodyguards ran to stop the fight. I really can't understand men sometimes, they are so violent! I sigh and walked to kaoru's room , I think I should talk to him . Hikaru told me that he overheard us last time. Now he must be mad at me also. I didn't mean to break their relationship, I just wanted Hikaru to know what he is doing because the idiot thinks that what he did is the right thing and can live with it to the last day in his life ! living a lie and pulling his brother with him as if it was nothing! "kaoru?" I knocked the door that was already opened "I'm here , give me a minute" he said from the bathroom . I entered and sat on the couch beside the bed , I took a look around me . kaoru has put his books in the shelf and set a glass on the table that has some white flowers on it. The bed was a mess , I know that he never make up his bed and he likes it always messy , I've known that long time ago when we were together back in high school.

He went out of the bathroom and walked to me. "can we talk?" I asked him " I guess I have nothing to talk about with you Haruhi " he said and grabbed his laptop "well.." I didn't know what to say , if he doesn't want to talk then probably I should leave him alone but then I thought that he might want to talk to someone after all that happened but doesn't know how to start it. "so..what are you checking on your laptop?" I asked "I am uploading my Blog" he answered " oh you have a blog! What do you write in it?" I asked him to start a talk "depression quotes, black theme photos, metal songs and such…" he kept his eyes on the screen .

I sigh .. really need to open up with him but he's not giving anyone a chance, I took a deep breath " You know I didn't come here to talk about shallow stuff , I just want you to know that Hikaru didn't want to hurt your feelings ! he's just so much of an idiot that he had to do anything not to lose you ! and ..i guess he didn't know what to do but to give you everything you wanted and needed , to reward him coldly like that is selfish of you kaoru ! he's mistaken , I know that , but he did it for you to start with ..i guess you should give your brother a chance to explain himself to you … look at him , he wasted 5 years of his life not doing a thing but taking care of you and loving you even thought he is not gay ! he could've found a girl and have a nice relationship right now but instead he preferred to stay with you , don't you appreciate this ?"

"you are making me look like a piece of shit! I didn't force him to do anything he didn't want to do ! and what do you know about our past Haruhi? The past five years went so cold . we didn't kiss for whole two years but then ..there was that time two months ago when ..I was setting alone in the central park watching people kissing and dancing , then Hikaru walked to me and…he kissed me, I never asked him for that … he did it by his own..and..he said.." he was looking down, I sat beside him and put my hand on his shoulder " he said he still loves me" .. I felt so sorry for kaoru and at the same time I thought that I might have been wrong in judging Hikaru …maybe he really loved him after all. "Hikaru is the only one who can decide whether he was true about this or not..you need to talk to him" I said fondling his back "relax kaoru..everything will be okay" he nodded and I left the room. I found a mix of hard feelings in his tone all I hope for now is that he doesn't fix himself by breaking someone else.

**Kaoru POV**

All black thoughts. I am drowning in anger , I don't want to be the one the bottle always choose I want to be the one making the fight. i started building dialogues in my head and planes to destroy all of them and to tell you the truth I didn't find anything worth living for anymore . When Haruhi left the room I got ready to leave the house. It was still early for my therapy at the hospital so I got to make a part of my plan.

I've put on my white t shirt and skinny black pants and brushed my hair really good , I closed my room's door and walked to the corridor then to out the house to the garden . there was a motor standing beside the house that belonged to one of the farmers that work in the garden "I need to take your motor , I'll be right back " I said to the busy man as I put the key and started my ride "WAIT SIR!" I heard the man screaming from behind me but ignored him and kept driving out . If you're wondering where I am going then I'll make it easier for you , I am going to Kayoya's place.

It took me half an hour tell I got there " my driving skills weren't that bad after all" I said to myself as I parked beside the big modern mansion of the Otori family and rang the bell "introduce yourself" one of the guards said . "I am Kaoru Hitachiin and I want to meet with Kayoya Senpai " I said "wait there please" the voice said as I stood there looking at the place. Suddenly the huge doors opened "come in please" I entered as two maids walked to me "Hello master Kaoru , master Kayoya is waiting for you , please have some wine " he gave me the cup and I accepted it , we walked in the garden , roses from each side and terrific trees. After almost two minutes walking we entered a big hall where a nice Jacuzzi where set . I realized Kayoya's figure sitting in it .the maid left leaving me alone with Kyoya . I took a breath and so he realized I am here. "Oh look who's here .."he said devilishly looking at me from head to toes "I respect your dignity to step here ..Kaoru" he said as I walked closer to him "long time no see " I said "well..you've changed though you still have the same cute look" he said , still sitting in the Jacuzzi , I smiled warmly to him "uh thank you .." I said . I knew he will never hurt me because either he already did when we were wealthy and the game was fun or because I believed he likes me and if he wanted to hurt me he would have already did it. "can I join you?" I asked him and I don't know where did this courage come from "even though Hikaru will get mad if he knows this?" Kayoya wondered "I broke up with Hikaru" he got surprised and gasped.

I took off my shirt knowing that his eyes are burning on my body , I took of my pants but kept my boxers on and so I joined him in the Jacuzzi , I blushed to the thought as the hot water touched my body "come closer" he said and I moved and set beside him , he has put his hand around my body as I rest my hands on his chest "so you decided to come here after breaking up with Hikaru ..what exactly happened?" he asked and so I told him what happened and I told him how Hikaru lied to me all of these years and that ,I am broken " are you here to drive Hikaru insane or because you're serious about you and I ?" I was sure he'd ask this question

"actually it's both of them "


	10. Chapter 10

**Hikaru's POV**

Despite the fact that kaoru's ignoring me , I wanted to talk to him even if he doesn't want to replay at all. I owe him an explanation, I never meant to hurt him because I do love him .. I really do, I had a mix of feelings before that me myself wasn't sure about them. When first kaoru admitted his feelings to me I had sort of the same feelings , because we were teenagers we had such mixed emotions that we didn't know how to control . so back in time , indeed I was deeply in love with him. After we lost our parents , this relationship between us started to fade it's like everything disappeared and the desire was gone. So at that part of time I wasn't in love with him .. I considered my feelings toward him as a dead hank. Before exactly two months when we were at the central park and I saw how sad he is I decided that I should make him happy because I can and I knew what does he want and so I did, I never meant to hurt him . when I had spoken to Haruhi before three days , I didn't want accept anybody to give me advices about my love life so I just agreed on whatever she said and I didn't want to explain anything to her let alone that she thinks I have lied to him all that time ! why didn't I explain it to her? Because she has nothing to do with this, and kaoru overhear the wrong conversation. I don't even know how am I suppose to explain all that to him but I got to try and I hope that he'd stop be mad for awhile and listen to me.

I reached his door and knocked but he didn't answer so I tried opening the door. The room was empty . I search in the living room and in the garden too. "Excuse me , did you see my brother?" I asked the garage man "oh yes!.. he has stolen my motorcycle!" the man said in anger "what ! where did he go?" I asked " and how am I suppose to know ! you better bring me my motor back !" he said " okay , calm down I'll bring it back to you" I said and went to Tamaki .

"where in the world is he?" I asked worried "he could be injured or faint and somebody could hurt him!"

" Did you try calling him?" Tamaki asked

"sure I did but he didn't answer " I said

"we better wait , he might be back soon" tamaki said

"Dammit tamaki! Is this all you can do! , I'll go search for him" I angrily said

"and where are you going to search?"tamaki asked and I stopped , I really don't know where he would go, we actually don't know anybody. Instead of searching I sat down on the sofa. He's bad at directions , I hope he doesn't lose his way back" I murmured to myself and tried to call him over and over but still he didn't answer.

**Kaoru's POV**

All I came here to do is to tempt Kayoya and make him believe that I want to give him a chance with me while in face I wanted to avenge myself and get my parents' wealth back. We went out of the Jacuzzi , dressed up and sat on a rounded table beside the pool , I let him hold my hand and touch my face and that's all I allowed him to do , I sure wanted him to believe my plot but still I can't imagine giving myself to him. "let's walk around" Kayoya said , we stood side by side and he hold my hand , I accepted it. The garden was huge and full of strange kind of plants , we came beside a chocolate fountain , Kayoya took a strawberry ,put it in the fountain and then led it to my mouth "eat it" he ordered and I took a bite , it was so delicious. He pulled me to him , I got surprised as he rest his hand on my back and the other on the back of my nick , he knelt down and wanted to kiss me but I looked down to the floor "what is it kaoru? I thought we are dating " he wondered "ermm..I..don't prefer kissing in the first date though .." I said the first lie that crossed my mind "oh..I see .." I didn't believe that he bought it , I looked to my watch "oh my god ! I am late" I said "what's the matter?" he asked " you know …I have lungs cancer.." I said and he opened his eyes in a surprise" but it's not in the dangerous level so..i am taking the chemotherapy , and I am late" I finished explaining and looked around to the motor when another subplot hit me "can you give me a ride?" I asked , if Hikaru sees me in Kayoya's car with him he'll get mad and I'll follow it with another act "why yes sure! " he said and led me to his car , I took my phone and checked it , 20 missed calls from Hikaru in the last two hours , instead of calling him and making Kayoya subconscious I sent Hikaru a message that said "meet me at the hospital's door ,please :'( " and by that , Hikaru will get worried and when he sees Kayoya there he'd start his over thinking process and lead himself to some imaginary maze that ends with him imagining me and Kayoya sharing bed. We sat in the car as it started moving , Kayoya sat beside me as the driver drove us to the hospital "you are shivering" Kayoya said "I am scared . last time it was awful , I felt weak and always dizzy . it's the worst feeling ever" I murmured as he put his arm around my shoulders and brought me closer " I am going to stay with you" he said and I devilishly smiled inside of me.

After some time the car stopped beside the hospital, we went out of the car, I noticed Hikaru running towards me "Kaoru!" Hikaru stood in front of me and brought me to a tight hug "you scared me man! Are you alright? You're shaking!" he said worriedly and looked at my eyes, I looked away and didn't say a word. He noticed Kayoya standing behind us and I noticed the anger look that took a place on his face "why the fuck kaoru was with you?" he asked as he pulled me protectively behind him "ask him yourself Hikaru" Kayoya calmly said "he came to me by his own well " Kayoya spit it to Hikaru who gasped in anger and took my head by his hands "what the fuck where you thinking?!" he said , actually Hikaru scared me more than the chemotherapy at the moment "TALK!"he ordered me but I looked at Kayoya from Hikaru's shoulder for help and immediately Kayoya pushed Hikaru away from me. "fuck off him Hikaru ,you've broke up already !" Kayoya smartly said that to make sure I was telling him the truth "WHAT! What the hell are you talking about ! I have never broke up with him!" Hikaru looked at me I felt that he's ready to punch me for that but because I wanted to burn his heart the same way he did to mine I tangled Kayoya's arm "I have nothing to explain to him ..shall we enter ?" I said to Kayoya , leaving Hikaru there breathing in anger and surprised , I entered the hospital with Kayoya as I took a look back at Hikaru who looked hopeless and broken and most of all , cheated on. What made it worst to Hikaru is that it's Kayoya , not anyone else , the most person that Hikaru and I hate in this world. My eyes met Hikaru's for a fast glance; both of our eyes fell with tears. I looked away. I moved my tears away as the doctors rushed to me . they've let me set on a wheeled chair and led me to the chemo therapy's room.

**Hikaru's POV**

I sat down on the sidewalk . the doctors , nurses and people were passing me , I hid my face with my hands ." what have you done kaoru.." murmured in pain to myself as if he was there listening to me, I sobbed a very hard breath. I moved a tear that fell down my eye. " a break up..no he must be kidding me .. he must have something in mind..I won't let Kayoya win this" I entered the hospital and searched till I found Kayoya setting on a chair waiting for Kaoru "Don't you ever think that my brother would like you" I said to him , he ignored me and kept staring at his tablet "pfft.." I sat beside the door waiting for kaoru. An hour have passed tell finally the nurse went out the room pushing Kaoru's wheelchair , he was sniffing and tears falling down his eyes.

**Kaoru's POV**

The pain was unbearable , as if the voices are all mixing making noises and everything is running . I couldn't concentrate at all, I felt pain in my whole body , everything was hurting me so badly , I cried out of the pain. The nurses put me on a wheelchair and pushed me out the room . I searched for Hikaru .. I didn't want anything right now , not Kayoya , not anybody in the world but Hikaru , I can't trust anyone else at the moment. As I went out the room Hikaru knelt down in front of me immediately, I knew he'll be there. Because Hikaru never leaves me . "hika.." I sniffed and hold his jacket , I hid my face on his chest "you're gonna be okay..calm down my sweetheart " he hugged me and fondled my hair, I sobbed to him "everything hurts , I am in so much pain" I murmured thought my tears made his shirt wet. He screamed to the nurse "do you have any pain killer or anything? He's in pain!" the nurse got scared and went to call the doctor. after that the doctor gave me a needle that would put me to sleep , i rest my head on his chest as the car started moving and Hikaru took me home.

* * *

**Thanks for the comments ! keep me updated with your opinions and thoughts. :)**


	11. Chapter 11

**Kayoya POV**

I don't usually trust people or give them a second chance but this boy was an odd. I made sure that he and Hikaru are having a breakup. I had to take this chance because in the last five years nobody has won my heart like Kaoru, he is beautiful and I love him. I thought that my feelings toward him became weaker after his rejection and after not meeting with him for five years. All that went to decay when my eyes met his eyes again. When I tried kissing him he said he doesn't like to kiss in first date and to tell you the truth I expected this, even though my heart told me to trust him my mind said totally the opposite. I've harmed him and his brother a lot , he'd never love me , the only thing that he'd do is to break my heart to pieces again. I shouldn't give him a chance I…

Love him

And then he looks at me and all these thoughts run away and being replaced with trust. He appeared to mess up my perfect world again. Nothing good comes from a Hitachiin , their family was known with its evil members. And I knew this , there is no chance in heaven Kaoru would love me. When I took him to the hospital , Hikaru had scream it to my face, he said that his brother would never love me. Not only because Hikaru loves Kaoru , it's mostly because he was telling me the truth.

When Kaoru went out that room , he hugged Hikaru and whispered his name . they looked perfect together, they could make up in seconds without even apologizing to each other. Why would Kaoru give me a chance when he has Hikaru ?...and I am nothing like Hikaru.. I am a cold hearted person who only cares about money and never let anyone cross his red lines or ..love him.

**Hikaru POV**

Thoughts kept hitting me while I looked at my sleeping twin ." what kind of things did you do with Kyoya?" I whispered ..and I didn't think that Kaoru would let go of me this easily. I understand that I am the problem and I know he got hurt but running to another man's lap is cheating.

I didn't break up with him and I'd never think about that. got lost in my own thoughts , and my doubts. he moaned out of pain and I fondled his hair and lent down so my lips where an inch away "I am sorry for everything" pressed my lips on his , which always belonged to me" I love you Kaoru" whispered to him then brought the covers on us , I hugged him protectively and slept.

I never knew how much I love till I let him go..

**Kaoru POV**

I had weird dreams , unconnected events and people I don't know . suddenly I took a long breath and opened my eyes to noticed Hikaru sleeping beside me , wrapping his arms around me and hugging me , the warmth of his body was so tempting that i didn't want to move , instead I hugged him closer , I didn't have any interactions with him for the last three days , I missed him for sure. enjoying the atmosphere that I was smiling to myself. I think my hair has tickled his face because then he moved a little and whispered my name "kao.." he brought me closer "are you awake? "he murmured to my hair and couldn't see my face since the room was too dark "yeah I guess" , "how do you feel?", "dizzy but I'm fine" there was silence for a while then Hikaru moved and sat "I kept your pills somewhere here.. " he searched on the table beside us "found them" he gave me two pills and a cup of water , I swallow them. Then I lied down again and brought the covers on me when I noticed Hikaru walking to the door "where are you going?" I asked "to my room, good night" he said "nighty.." I said as he opened the door and left , closing the door behind him. I wanted him to stay here. I stayed lying in the bed forever and couldn't sleep yet I didn't want to go to Hikaru's room, I am still hurt and mad at him. the sun light entering the room from the window it is 6 am already.

There was nothing to do and I couldn't sleep so I stood up and was only wearing my boxers , I picked a long shirt and wear it then wrapped a blanket around my shoulders, I liked to show my legs and mostly I hated to wear shoes , socks were enough when you are at the house's garden.

I recognized Hikaru setting on a chair beside the pool and throwing stones to the water. He suddenly turned his head and looked at me while I walked to him "we need to talk" I said but Hikaru was about to leave "sit down it's just a talk..and you owe me that too" , he smiled politely back at me and sat on the chair again. Shyly I sat on his lap then hide my face on his neck " I miss you ,jerk" I said while he touched my naked legs and I shivered "oh I miss you more, idiot" he said then I sat well so we were facing each other

"simply , you've heard the wrong conversation" , " how come Hikaru?", he describes to me that he agreed on the stuff Haruhi was saying because she has nothing to do with our relationship which actually made me happy and satisfied ".. I am sure I love you now and will always do" he said and I felt tears taking place on my eyes , he captured my face "hey come one don't cry " we hugged tightly " I love you too..Hikaru" and by that it was my time to explain myself "I want you to know that I didn't do anything with Kyoya" I said looking at his eyes "and how far did you go?" he asked " I don't know , he took my hand and touched my face.." I murmured " that's it Kaoru?" , " Hikaru .." I shyly said. "good morning you guys" Tamaki said from behind us , good god that would make Hikaru forgets about that question , I can't tell him I sat on the Jacuzzi and wrapped my arms around Kyoya he'd get seriously mad.

"oh so you've made up !,that's great!" Tamaki said "yes, it was only a misunderstanding, thanks to your girlfriend" I said to him , resting my head on Hikaru's shoulder while he kept touching my legs sending shivers through my body. After awhile Haruhi joined us and I noticed the annoyed look in her face when she saw me sitting on Hikaru's lap , so to pay back of preventing me from my lover for three days ,i looked to Hikaru's eyes then pressed my lips to him , he kissed me back wildly and I moaned a little. I could feel the anger from Haruhi said as we separated "why are you angry and want to ruin our relationship? Is it because Tamaki never kisses you?" I devilishly said "pffttt.." Hikaru was about to laugh but he hold himself "said who! We kiss all the time" Tamaki said but Haruhi got mad and left the table "YOU EVIL TWINS!" the idiot screamed and ran after her "HAHAHHA! Have you seen the look on his face" Hikaru laughed "YA HAHAHA !what a natural idiot , I bet they never make love " I said "because he's too small HAHAH!" Hikaru finished the joke and we were about to die laughing.

"back to the subject.."Hikaru looked to my eyes "you didn't tell me how far you went with that son of a bitch? And how could you do this to me?" he asked "well..I didn't let him kiss me or anything plus you hurt my feelings and I wanted to hurt yours!" I said " I have a plot in my mind, Hikaru …if you only agree on this then we'll revenge and get our parents wealth back" I tangled my arms around his shoulders "what is that?" Hikaru looked skeptical about the plan but I smiled to him "all I want is your acceptation to go a little farther with Kyoya" he put his hand under my shirt and touched my chest "No. I won't let another man touch your body" he said and I laughed a little "baka Hikaru , I won't end up in bed with him .. just want to fool him till he gives us everything back and then ..we'll get rid of him" Hikaru smiled in agreement "smart ass" he bite on my neck and I laughed.

**Hikaru POV**

I will be there to stop Kyoya in case he went any further with Kaoru , the idea is still annoying for me but I couldn't prevent because I saw something in Kaoru's eyes that said , believe on me, and I believed on him in worst situations , I had to swallow my pride.

He didn't tell me the details of his plan yet , however , we were setting around the breakfast table at 9 am when he said " where are Mori and Hony ? we didn't see them in ages!" he took a bite of his French toasts "they are running their family's business , I actually didn't hear anything from them in a long time" Haruhi said "last thing I knew about them that they won in the karate championship" Tamaki said "that's cool" I said looking at Kaoru " yeah , hey how about this !" Kaoru said and we all looked at him " how about we make a party for the memory of the host club?" he suggested "Wow! A great idea Kaoru!" Tamaki agreed and Haruhi sighed "would be fun though " I said not knowing what's in my brother's mind , but he smirked and raised his wine cup so I knew it's nothing good. When did Kaoru turn to a little devil…

* * *

**YAy thanks for your comments Ellifein ! you are awesome ! XD i love how hikaru is the seme and actually the guys who get jealous are sexy lol **

**i am waiting for your comment in this chapter and what do you think should i add to the plot? **

**thanks for reading !**

**please everybody leave reviews **


End file.
